The Edge of a Paradigm Shift: Confusing and Tumultuous

I said I’d start this blog weeks ago, months ago actually.

But something always got in the way.

Realistically, as all of you good procrastinators know, unless you make time for something, things will ALWAYS get in the way. So I could give you all the excuses as to why this initial blog post is past its due date, but I’d like to start off this readership on a no bullshit note.

Here I am, a good month after the site has been up and running, giving myself a little grace, and repeating the mantra but ‘better late than never’.

So, what inspired me to finally start clanking on the keys? I’m a writer after all, shouldn’t the words have been flowing as soon as my dear web designer, Erin, finalized Gosh how I wish it worked that way!

Instead I needed a little inspiration, and I shouldn’t have been surprised that it came from Tracy Gillett’s Raised Good Online Summit at the end of last month. I live for this summit. I geek out on everything Tracy produces. Every email newsletter, blog post, social media story and DEFINITELY every summit. They’re epic. Ironically I could write an entire blog post just about Raised Good, but let me stick to the task at hand.

It’s Day 3 of the summit, and I’m listening to Dr. Pamela Douglas, founder of Possums & Co, and I’m doing my usual fan girl smiles and silent cheers as she speaks to my heart, so thrilled by her knowledge and work that she puts out into the world. And as she’s talking about baby sleep, she says one of the most profound things I’ve heard in a while. She says “We’re on the edge of a paradigm shift which is often when things get confusing and tumultuous actually.”.

I paused the video, and rewound 5 times until I had accurately written down the quote exactly as she’d said it.

“We’re on the edge of a paradigm shift which is often when things get confusing and tumultuous actually.” - Dr. Pamela Douglas

And then I just stared at the words, completely dumbstruck. Because that, my friends, is why the Rebel Mama brand even exists.

What in the dear heavens am I talking about? Okay if you insist, I’ll keep writing.

Rebel Mama is my heartfelt attempt at shifting the paradigm on motherhood. And when you read my book, I have these undertones of being fired up about current state, feeling duped in my own journey by all of the misinformation floating around out there. Because holy cow is shit confusing these days.

But as I listened to Pam say these words, I realized she’s right; and how god damn exciting it is that WE ARE HERE! It’s happening, there are moms like me all over the world debunking the bullshit we’ve been told for the past century, shaking new moms awake and empowering them to think for themselves and trust their instincts.

And then I got a little sad the more it sank in, because while it is transformational that we’re on the edge of a paradigm shift, I can’t discount the confusing and tumultuous part. Because for every amazing human being like Tracy and Pam, there are exponentially more individuals trying to make a buck off of a new mom at any expense, often using tactics that convince her she’s inexperienced, unknowing, and in desperate need of help.

Almost in the same week, two other current events further confirmed Pam’s proclamation. 1, an influential sleep trainer sleep trained a baby that was not her own, live on her Instagram story while the family was away at Disneyland for the weekend (but not before first setting her account to private), stirring up a huge sleep training war on social media and 2, Gabor Maté released his latest book, The Myth of Normal, and spoke against leaving a baby to cry on its own on a couple of well listened to podcasts, including the Joe Rogan Experience and the Doctor’s Farmacy with Mark Hyman, M.D.  

The sleep trainer, with hundreds of thousands of followers, many of whom are sleep deprived desperate moms, linked to her courses (hey truth bomb – you do not need to take a baby sleep training/sleep learning/sleep anything course as a new mom) on every story she posted.  The baby “only” cried for 24 minutes and she considered this a success.  And then there is Gabor Maté (I highly recommend you check out some of his work – irrespective of sleep training, he has some fascinating information to share) with decades of clinical research on the physical and mental effects of trauma, publicly stating the long term negative effects of essentially the sleep training methods.

So we’ve got two perceived experts spreading polar opposite messages to huge audiences.  Yeah, confusing and tumultuous to say the least.

Therefore, in this inaugural post, I’d like us to make a pledge. We will navigate the sea of information out there together.  But above all, we will regain control and remind ourselves that WE are the experts on our baby and on our motherhood journey. WE have all of the answers inside of us and WE get to decide how our story plays out.  

In case some of you haven’t read Rebel Mama (I know I know impossible to believe but I think there may be a few of you out there), I organize each chapter into three sections: road to rebellion, redefining normal, and what worked for me. Road to rebellion is my story about how when I tried to follow main stream media it was an absolute disaster. Redefining normal is where I simply share data and facts with you; I do not influence and I do not tell you what to do. What works for me is exactly as it sounds, how I pivoted and what ended up being best for our family. Notice how I never use the terms advice or how to. If you’re looking for one of those books it’s best you move on. But before you move on please consider this, if I had written the book in that format, you would read it and you would be disappointed had you tried to implement some of my “expertise” and found that it didn’t work for you or your family or your baby.

So yes am I going to sell less books because I didn’t follow the typical "how to" guide format to increase sales revenue? Yes. But am I here to follow my passion, spread the word and offer other mamas a reprieve from the feeling of loneliness? Absolutely!

I have no courses (but I can recommend some excellent ones if learning is your thing), no consultations, just an award winning book and a blog site where I share my thoughts and experiences, give you some helpful insights and hopefully make you laugh and feel less alone in this motherhood journey. I’m not selling my soul and I’m not selling you anything (other than my super amazing current book and future books). And if I’m truly successful, you’ll leave my page(s) every time feeling a little lighter.

To use Pam’s expression - let’s do this – let’s shift the paradigm and work through the confusing and tumultuous together, because when we get to the other side we will have trailblazed to a more beautiful existence.

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Funny that I found your blog. I was also dumbstruck by Dr. Pamela Douglas at the Raised Good summit. My first summit, btw. Now I can't get enough of both. Adding you to my list!